Rusty Nail (Eng)
Don’t let that vigorous tune deceive you. The song is a covert torment…rooted in death.
This article is part of a personal project called LOVE AT FIRST TITLE, in which I make single cover artwork to celebrate the wonderful songs that initially entice me with their provoking titles, and then, with everything else they offer.
Rusty Nail. The title is short and figurative. It’s easy to picture a small, crooked nail, rust-eaten all over, protruding like a seed of danger from old planks, antique wooden cabinets passed down from grandparents, or rickety wooden stairs… Its presence, we’ve long been aware of. We avoid it as much as possible and move with extra care when nearby. Still, peril awaits! The nail lies there menacingly, and very, very patiently. There was no need to rush! Sooner or later, someone would eventually lose their caution…
That was the scene painted in my mind before the music began. Unlike the first two tracks in the Love At First Title project, where I only learned about the artists after being captivated by their music, I came to Rusty Nail with some prior knowledge of X Japan. I knew about Yoshiki’s family tragedy, his father’s suicide when he was young, and that he often embraced the haunting of death in his compositions. I thought, perhaps that rusty nail wouldn’t have to wait long; the protagonist would intentionally use it as a means to put a stop to his/her eternal suffering.
However, as soon as the music started, I felt my brilliant theory imploded. There was no sight of that heavy heart; instead, the song rumbled from beginning to end. It was so full of life, so unexpected. My initial impression was shattered completely under that dynamic pulse.
When it was time to search for the lyrics, I continued to be struck by a second wave of surprise. The way this band expressed adversity was no doubt, an abnormal. The lyrics,1 (as I predicted) spoke of Yoshiki’s unquenchable pain, specifically the love for his late father, but the music was full of passion, to the point of making listeners wanted to dance. How queer!
At that time, I was watching a Japanese anime called Mononoke and was fascinated by its unique art style. I don’t know the name of the style, or even if it has a name, but its layered complexity – so much to see, hear, and absorb at the same time – keeps bringing Rusty Nail to my mind. Both are intricate, constantly take me by surprise, and especially, both demonstrate a powerful contrast between the inside and what is shown outside.
One is a horror film dazzled with all the colors and eye-catching patterns, and one is a song about loss and pain but brimming with energy. The combination was obviously odd, yet somebody turned it into art. It is worth noting that the paradoxical approach is the key helping the two works above convey the hidden thoughts, the truth and falsehood that are difficult to distinguish in the human heart. What we hear, what we see is not necessarily true to what is secretly happening behind the mask. The righteous appearance can be a cover for past sins (Mononoke), and enthusiasm can be an effort to deny even for a moment a broken heart (Rusty Nail).
Inspired by how they simultaneously conveyed two contrasting viewpoints of one matter, I decided to find a way to show that in my own work. For the Rusty Nail cover, I borrowed Mononoke’s filled-with-pattern design against a mottled background to create a chaotic atmosphere. There, at the front and center, a hand actively reaching for a nail, signaling the writhing pain that was bound to follow.
Unlike the spindle in Sleeping Beauty, the person who touches the nail does not fall into an eternal sleep that can only be awakened by true love’s kiss. The nail represents Yoshiki’s memory of losing a parent at such a young age. He avoids that pain, fearing that once he is strong enough to overcome it, his love for his father will fade.
However, the rusty nail never leaves his mind; in fact, he’s drawn to it to the point of obsession. This adds another layer to the song’s contradictions. Beyond the contrast of its powerful sound and sorrowful lyrics, we sense a struggle between the verbal words and his unspoken desires. Deep down, he wants to confront the pain, to reach out to the rusty nail, and to endure it fully, as if only by reaching its depths can he find release.
The love for his late father is a recurring theme that Yoshiki often brings into X Japan‘s compositions. Therefore, almost all of their songs carry the lingering ache of unfulfilled emotions. But please, don’t mistake this for the music of despair! Beneath the anguished words lies a powerful desire to live – so strong that I believe nothing I have ever heard could compare. Despite the past filled with painful memories, a present marked by intense obsessions, and a future loaded with difficulties, they hold on with resilience to dear life, regardless of the uncertainty. Like a delicate butterfly attracted to a peculiar “nail” flower, they are drawn to life for the very danger and abnormality of it.
One thing that you will easily notice in X Japan‘s songs, and perhaps what makes me appreciate their music even more, is the courage to explore the dark, violent corners of the soul without displaying self-pity or resentment toward life. Beyond all the complex layers and meanings, their melodies and lyrics are sincere love letters to life, despite its deformity, or may I say, partly because of it. For ultimately, aren’t those imperfections what make life uniquely valuable and worth experiencing?